deal or no deal.

the last months have been interesting to say the least.. i haven't uploaded a blog for a while because basically i just forgot about it & i really didn't have that much time over the summer. the past month has been filled with work work & more of it. well just a little hello & goodbye.

blah blah :D

just a quick one because i havent written in a while. just out of pure laziness i guess. how shit. having all this time off college really gets you in the lazy mood. lay-ins ftw. as i say this is only a quick one but i will be doing a much fuller blog later on. i just dont have the words at the moment.

just a quick one before i go to sleep.

you dont know this, but you mean a lot to me.

its really good to hear your voice say my name, it sounds so sweet.

just a little blog for today. erm, where do i start? another day off so i didnt get out of bed to like 12pm. which made me late for the bus because i was meeting gemma at 1. she was annoyed because i missed the bus yesterday too, making her wait.. oops haha. i was feeling really mischievous today and did some funny things it town which made me laugh. so that was that then i had to leave to go to my nan & gdads 50th wedding anniversary which was sweet and it was nice to see everyone. okay.


and ive missed big brother two nights in a row now.
i love big brother.
i can not get into the 'missing it' habit.
i will watch.
i will!

well you are the only exception.

hmm well, my last few posts have been pretty thin. so this hopefully is going to be a decent amount. fingers crossed. :)
so tuesday my college course went to the v&a museum in london. it was an alright trip, but the actual museum was really dull. so me and a few mates went over to the natural/national history museum and i have to say it was a little more exciting than the v&a. but i managed to get a few sketches of some things while at the v&a. so i guess that was the silver lining. dont you find when you go on highschool/college trips like that you have more fun on the journey rather than when youre there. and yes i fell asleep on the way back and yes i did have numerous photos taken of me asleep. i havent seen them, but im sure they were god damn awful haha. im not that fussed in all honesty. so what else has been happening? err.. yesterday was one of those days where i literally stayed in my pj's all day.. hardly ever got out of bed and just relaxed all day. it was lush. as i rarely have those days now.. because of college & working etc. so i guess that was fun. mmm big brother started last night, which in a way im sort of glad and im sort of weirdly upset because i actually really enjoy it.. which i know is really pathetic. but tbh i dont give a shit. the housemates were all chosen live. which i didnt like. and the bunch of people they stuck in there were kinda strange. some very nice looking girls i have to say & i cant forget the guys.. some very nice looking ones too ;) so i guess i will be writing about that quite abit in blogs. what have i done today? i went to town with my friend gemma. we bummed around there for abit.. then we decided to try on some outfits in anne summers.. haha what a laugh we had. so much fun. peace.

i made a point to burn all the photographs.

so do you wait, or carry on.. i like him. & there's nothing i can do about it :( really not having the best of days. and this blogs are really thin. shame on me.

i like to listen to music so loud it drowns out my own thoughts.

you have no idea how i feel. its like just watching someone having there life and them not knowing how you feel. & seriously its ripping me up inside and i dont know what to do. i know i should write some more, but im really not in the mood. plus desperate housewives is on.

you say i love you boy, but i know you lie.

I haven't written I blog in a while. It's funny how you just get out of the habit of doing something. So I really need to get back into the habit. It's nice to just write stuff about you're life knowing that no one is going to read it.. or that you know of.. its kind of a release I guess. Well what's happened since I last wrote a blog? Well I've got a new phone, yes I will miss the blackberry dearly but it was time to move on. So now I have the htc desire, and im in love. It's just pure loveliness. What else? Erm nothing really lol oh how boring my life is lol. Peace.

its been a while - staind

cant get this song out of my head.



It's been a while
Since I could hold my head up high
and it's been a while
Since I first saw you
It's been a while
since i could stand on my own two feet again
and it's been a while
since i could call you
But everything I can't remember as fucked up as it may seem
the consequences that I've rendered
I've stretched myself beyond my means

It's been a while
since i could say that i wasn't addicted and
It's been a while
Since I could say I love myself as well and
It's been a while
Since I've gone and fucked things up just like i always do
It's been a while
But all that shit seems to disappear when i'm with you
But everything I can't remember as fucked up as it may seem
the consequences that I've rendered
I've gone and fucked things up again

Why must i feel this way?
just make this go away
just one more peaceful day

Its been awhile
Since I could look at myself straight
and it's been awhile
since i said i'm sorry
It's been awhile
Since I've seen the way the candles light your face
It's been awhile
But I can still remember just the way you taste
But everything I can't remember as fucked up as it may seem
I know it's me i cannot blame this on my father
he did the best he could for me

It's been a while
Since I could hold my head up high
and it's been a while since i said i'm sorry

i have one extreme headache.

so yeah like the title says, i have a really bad headache. so i wont be on here for long. plus i only got like 5 hours sleep last night so that might add to it. okay my head hurts so im going to stop here.

love the soldier, hate the war.

sitting in digital art and design i decided to write something on here. mainly because i was bored and i needed something to do. so this is it. today has been a good day so far. im really enjoying digital art & design because it makes you think about colour.
whats your favourite colour you ask me? & i will literally punch you in the face. its not because i hate you. its because that is the worst question in the world.
nothing really has been happening lately, been pretty boring. mainly just going to college, going to work, seeing friends & killing people on the xbox. yep, thats all that happens in my life at the moment.
today gemma got a kiss & a hug off boner boy. i havent spoke about him before, but hes a kid in our college that gets a boner everytime he hugs a girl. oh dear me.
im really missing talking to someone at the moment. & i shouldnt because he was really not very nice to me a couple of months back but.. i miss it. i miss him. & i miss our stupid conversations. someone i know has said he is only playing mind games with me, which i know is probably true. but i dont mind. ive leant not to let that stuff get to me anymore. otherwise i would have probably killed myself by now.
OMG i go to alton towers next wednesday & i am actually so excited. :D:D:D
WOOOO.

life, love & lies.

the past few days havent been my best, and i dont really know what has been going on with myself. but hopefully i will snap out of this mood soon. im sure i will. well, i have snapped out of it but you know what i mean. just been a funny few days where i have made arguments with people and said some things i didnt mean.
but oh my gosh, im going to alton towers soon, eee im excited :D

you had time to waste. i had time to kill.

i have now discovered that i cannot concentrate on writing this blog while i have music blaring into my earholes, so out the earphones come. ah thats better.
woke up today really really early, and yes i was wide awake. i really couldnt get to sleep no matter how hard i tried. so i just kinda listened to music that i hoped would try and send me to sleep. it didnt. so then i decided to watch a film. WHEYHEY that did the trick. until i nearly overslept to get to work for one. had a pretty weird day at work. it was boringly quiet. i thought i was actually going to fall asleep. it was shit. so yeah thats basically what ive done all day. i hope i have a better day at college tomorrow. otherwise i will kill myself. kidding.

sexbox.

i thought i was never going to make it out of bed today. i was actually so tired. and i swear that my bed is so much more comfy in the morning once ive slept in it than the night before. is that weird?
i had some really strange dreams while i was sleeping, and i seem to remember every single one of them. which again is strange. i was explain them because they are kinda silly and weird but nevermind.
today has been a good day at work, and it went pretty quickly. but today a girl called chloe left, it was a shame because she is absolutely lovely & has been a real help to me while i have been there. anyway life does go on.
so got home, played cod. died alot. and killed alot of people. but its been good anyhow.
love.

in digital art & design.

so im sitting here at this computer. bored. uninspired.

basket case.

i woke up today and decided i wanted to watch sweeney todd while eating breakfast. just what i need to watch, throats being slit. yummy. i actually thought it was a really good film. and would watch it again. so then i went to town with my mumma. and always i bought clothes. who doesnt?
today was just an average day for me. i really didnt think about much. nothing really entered my head. i was just kind of in a daze, which really isnt like me at all. maybe i was thinking, just thinking too much that i didnt really know what was going on.
i had the strangest dream last night & i can remember everything that happened which is strange because that normally never happens. there is only 2 dreams that i can vividly remember from being a child. i used to have this recurring dream when i was little where this man was looking for me. and i used to hide under the bed trying not to be hurd. then i remember seeing his feet. and im still trying not to make a sound. then he left. it was the weirdest thing. because it was the exact same dream over and over again. so yeah that is that. and im not going to explain the dream i had last night, its way too rude haha. its not because it was rude that made it weird, it was the people involved in it. like i would never expect for them to enter my head.
that was really my day summed up.
a little bit rubbish or what?

calm down, its not like youre dead.

you know that feeling where things just make you smile. like that tmobile dance advert for instance, that advert always seems to bring a smile to my face and gives me that funny feeling in my stomach. i find myself with a tear in my eye and a smile on my face at the same time. only if everyone could come together & treat everyone with a bit of respect.
so today i had a day off work (im normally working wednesday), so i was like YEAH. went to town with my friend gemma today. gosh i love that girl. she makes me laugh when im at my lowest. truly joined at the hip. i went to the opticians today because in february i broke my glasses beyond repair.. so anyway i realised that i hadnt been for an eye test since 2008 so yeah i was definitely due a check. & some new glasses for that matter. i also went to the doctors this morning which was just for something pretty minor. eczema to be frank. yeah i know dry skin, lovely. but that really was about it for the day.. didnt really do much else. oh apart from i did some art work, so i was pleased that i actually made the effort to get all my arty stuff out (because there is so much of it) the reason why i sometimes cant be bothered to get it out is cuz there is so much to pack away at the end of it all. suddenly cant think of anything to write. nuff said.

while watching sex and the city.

i finally finished the essay today & by lunch time it got handed in. oh i was actually really pleased. another weight off my shoulders. so today was a pretty chilly one. and just one of those average days where nothing goes amazingly right, or wrong. today we had so fill in some form for college today, asking whether we wanted to go into the second year and if we wanted to carry on into university. & this got me thinking about what i wanted to do with my life. of course i said yes to carrying on into the second year, because who wouldnt.. how silly would that be when they are going to read these things. & then i said no, i didnt want to go to university. because i had other career options in mind. i really didnt like highschool even though i got pretty decent grades, had lots of friends and got on well with teachers.. i just didnt like the environment & the pressure that was put on us. not to say college doesnt put pressure, but after all they are only trying to help. but its a different kind of environment. you are treated more like adults obviously, but its just different. so after highschool i just wanted to take this time to relax and think about what i really wanted to do with my life. and then next year start really working hard to get where i want to be. and you may laugh. but my goal is to be in the raf. something ive always thought about doing. and im really going to push myself to do it. some people may think im silly and some people say 'oh but you will change your mind'. my mind hasnt changed in years now. so why suddenly now? exactly. yes i have a job and college and great friends. but its what i want to do. so there is nothing that will hold me back. haha i dont even have the boyfriend trouble, so that makes it easier.
so, i dont think we have a government yet. does this mean we can run the country ourselfs.. haha to be honest i think we would do a much better job.
peace.

just a quickie.

so im in the middle of writing an essay for college. i havent written one for about a year, which was when i was doing my gcse's. i hate them with a passion. i dont really see the point in writing an essay about art. GAH. and the worst thing is.. this essay is only 500 words, not like them 7000 uni ones. i think i would actually die if i had to do one of those :/ i wish writing an essay was as easy as writing a blog. even though i havent done one for a while. BAD. so whats been happening while i havent been here? gordon brown stands down. i dont know whether to be pleased or what.. i dont really care in all fairness. what else? oh yeah im going to alton towers in a couple of weeks. AHHHHHH :D ive been like 3 times before, and yet i still cant wait to get on those rides and poop myself. i just hope noone throws up. that would be dirty. and a complete mess. im just not looking forward to the 3 hour car journey. ipod will definitely needed :) anything else? oh yeah.. why are men so god damn confusing? would someone please answer that question for me because it is playing on my mind. i wont go into detail about what happened but a while back someone wasnt very nice to me, then thinks its acceptable to send me a message over facebook like nothing happened. how? why? i really should be writing this bleeding essay. i think i might watch a film. after the essay of course.
someone today got me thinking about karma, which i havent really thought about in great depth before.. but it really has got me thinking. what goes around comes around right? yeah i suppose so, be nice and people will be nice to you. oh i dont know. what about 'does everything happen for a reason?' i think so.. now that i believe. we dont just walk around doing random things. they do happen for a reason. why we meet different people and do different things..
BORED.
done.

gahh.

i havent blogged for a while now.. really getting out of the habit which is bad! :(

oh you don't mean nothing at all to me.

i havent written here for a while now. well it seems like a while, tbh im really not that sure.
so whats been happening? er not much tbh.
well excited about next month. off to alton towers baby. been like 3 times before, but who doesnt get excited about going to a place like that ;) its gunna be good.
x

digital art and design.

started a new blog today about the art work im doing at college :)
nuff said.
safe.

make damn sure.

soooooo.
infact ive really enjoyed today. had a pretty good day at work. i think ive practically run out of money now though and i dont get paid for another week or so.. this is going to be fun.
im feeling quite tired this evening, im not quite sure why. maybe just had a busy day.
i havent spoke to him. cant be arsed.
erm.. so yeah just a quick one.


:D
oh yes, and i need to stop watching the hangover. i seem to know every line. but youve gotta love lesie chow. cor.
i really need to update my ipod.
i really need to tidy my room.
(L)

spot on.

today has been a good day :) and it all started with last night.. i had the most amazing phone call with an old friend and really everything came out. it was nice to hear from him.
so i thought i would start my 'diet' today, well not really a diet but just do the whole drink loads of water and eat 5 fruit and veg stuff.
also went swimming today with gemma, was rather fun :)

beano plasters.

im loving my beano plasters. they are just too cute for words :)
going to alton towers next month. BOOM.
my cat is still shedding furr everywhere.
im really tired atm.
i wish things would sort themselves out.
this blog is shit.
night.

complicated.

so why does everything have to be so complicated? please someone tell me why? currently on iPod atm, so I will update later :)

title goes here.

someone told me today that my last few blogs were pretty thin. so i really have to try and make this one half decent sized :l wish me luck. :)
so whats been happening the last few days? well in all honesty nothing really.. ive realised a few things which i have been denying for a while. and because ive accepted how i feel, i can now deal with these feelings in a much more positive way then.. a negative one? lol.
the cat has been shedding furr like mad. and its getting everywhere. i now give my cat 2 brushes a day and its still falls off her like mad. of course my step dad suggested shaving her. i agreed. but my mum got in the way of our plan. lucky cat.
work has been okay, alot better than before. and im getting along with my manager much better. i think ive learnt how to deal with her now. even so, another person has left and she really will be missed, by all of us.
the subject of him.. i dont really know to say on this subject. we still speak. but thats about it.
OH MY GOSH. my mother dearest bought be some beano covered plasters today and i was so please. i know how random. but they really are so cool :)
sorry its been slightly all over the place but it should stop the complaining.



okay so i thought that was one of the lamest attempts at writing a decent sized blog. EPIC FAIL. but i really dont know what to write, and if i just write what comes to mind then.. im sure i will be in trouble ;) i love you.

ahhh why is it when ive saved the blog and think thats all im going to write i end up thinking of other things to put in it lol.
OMG im now obsessed with reddit. thanks to a geeky friend of mine.
what else.. oh about half way through on my anne frank book. i think its absolutely incredible. this may sound weird but i would really like to go to poland and visit the auschwitz museum. i think it would be such an experience. i would probably cry my heart out. but i really want to go maybe sometime next year.
cleaned my room today, be proud.

oh and im pretty sure my laptop is going to die soon. maybe an excuse to get a new one.. or just survive without. & my blackberry is acting like a gay. i hate it. iphone please :)

you make me wanna say..

yo uglies.
:)
again i dont have much today. on a natural high. apart from my breadbasket hurting. :( and if you dont know what that is.. its my stomach. lol.

weird.

today has been such a strange day. and its hard to explain.. i will add more later when i can be bothered lol :P

give me novacaine.

just a little update to say im still alive.
:)
& i love you.

O.M.G

im loving ushers song atm. <3

so yeah, just a random blog for the day. had my mate gemma round last night, corr she dont have make me laugh. so its 1am and a funny thought popped into her head and i swear down she didnt stop laughing for about 5 minutes. i dont think ive ever laughed that hard at someone else laughing, lol.
so today i woke up to the sound of a drill hammer outside, wondering what it was half asleep i realised it was actually coming from the builders that are working at our house. anyway i was slightly pissed off, and im pretty sure that everyone in my street was pissed off at us as well. i have to say it was 8:45 and it was soooooo noisy so yeah they do kinda have a point at being pissed off at us.
when i finally decided to get my lazy arse out of bed and get dressed i ventured of into town.. paid in a check, and got my daily kick of starbucks, this is bad right.. but they actually know my order before ive even got to the counter or even said anything to them. i think a couple of weeks ago i went in everyday.. this maybe why they seem to know me so well. but they are actually so friendly in there and i practically know them by name now, i love it.
ahhh him. im not evening going to mention him today, because he is not worth the words that i would like to say. plus its a tad inappropriate to mention it on here. eaaaaak. hes cool though. sort of. kind of contradicting myself there. but i kinda hate him but at the same time, hes a really awesome person. of course i dont let him know that, wouldnt want his head to grow any bigger than it already is.
at the moment im reading Anne Frank. and oh my gosh, its really amazing. im about a third of the way through and i really would recommend reading it, if you havent already done so.
current song im listing too (and obsessed with) , this aint a love song - scouting for girls. its lovely. but i know i will listen to it too much and end up hating it. dont you find that happens? when you listen to a song over and over again that you absolutely love, and you just end up hating it.. or just not listening to it at all. strange that? :S
so im planning my first tattoo, ever. and i really dont know what to go for..? or even where to put it..? when i was a couple of years younger than i am now i really wanted a barcode on my wrist.. oh what was i thinking, even though in my own head i still think it would be really cool to have that done. even if it is somewhere that cant be seen. as i dont want anything on my arms now. well i do, but parents have made me think its a bad idea because of jobs yada yada.
ohh yeah, how annoyed was i when i discovered that a new dvd that i bought a couple of days ago wouldnt play in my dvd player :@ oh and stupid me for not keeping the receipt :(
anyhow, enough for tonight. tired fingers. from typing. yeah.





OH BLOG UPDATE.
my laptop is fucked. cry.

why is it when ive wrote it i remember so many more things that were supposed too go in.
it was really sunny today and this made sooo happy. dont you just have those days where the weather just makes or breaks your day.

unspoken.

its starting not to bother me now when i dont speak to him.. like what was all the fuss about? short & sweet.

bank holiday.

i cant be bothered to add stuff to the blog i written yesterday. but i will carry on trying to write a blog every day. just to keep anyone who reads this informed. today has been a good day, had a pretty good time at work. it was so boring though because it was bank holiday hardly anyone came in which meant that i had 6 hours of doing nothing practically. done.

everything thats on my mind.

so some geek today told me not to think about what to write and just write what comes into my head so here goes.
-i have amazing friends. gemma, she is like my rock and i love her. i dont think i would be able to go a day without speaking to her. we are like two peas in a pod, joined at the hip. i met her at college. and shes awesome.
of course i have many other friends too, but none are like her. shes my jesus.
-i like him. you dont and never will know who he is, but its weird. like i would of never of thought it would of come to this but it kinda just happened. they say you cant help who you like/love (i dont love him) but thats really true. and it happens at the most worse, awkward and silly times. but as i like to say.. if life was easy, would love be boring? i think it would.
-college. i like it, only because i have great friends.
-family. this could be a long one. i didnt have a bad childhood. but as a result of what happened when i was a young baby, me and my father dont really have a relationship that a daughter and father should have. this makes me sad sometimes because i see other people with their fathers and i think to myself.. why cant my life be like that. but i suppose we all have different problems in our life. well, none of us are perfect after all. none.
i might add to this a little later because i really cba to type right now :)

i cant think, i cant write.

boom.
i dont have anything to say today.
why?
because.. nothing exciting happened. apart from meeting with mates.
night.

rehab.

happy easter weekend.
:)
im working most of the weekend, but ive had a pretty good few days at work. so im a happy bunny. and its sunday tomorrow so no working. but i am working bank holiday monday, which kinda sucks but everyone just keeps saying to me "think of the money" which i am lol.
okay, i admit it. didnt think about him much today. and i know i said i wouldnt mention him here anymore. but i dont know where else to really express myself. and im not 12 so i diary wouldnt be much help. so thanks blogger, you stop me from going insane.

angry angry.

dont you just hate it when some fucking (excuse my language) people dont even try and understand you. like when they just seem to get a kick out of pointing out all your faults when they think they are perfect themselves. well there're wrong, they have faults and plenty of them. its about time they climb out of there own butts and really get a grip. for fuck sake. my day has gone from good to bad to shit. and now i have a headache. crap.

whatshername.

so i get people asking who the guy is in my blog..
my business not yours.
so, now.. i wont mention him again. cool.

:)

so ive had a pretty amazing day, and yes i didnt think about him. result. i really didnt fancy going into work today, but who does? but when i got there i thought im going to make this a good day. and i did. my kpi's were pretty good. and i know you dont know what kpi's are, but it doesnt matter, they were good. so yeah, like i said i havent thought about him today. but yeah it just made my day better, not to be horrible or anything, but i just cant deal with that shit at the moment. this is probably going to be the first of two posts i will put up here today. happy easter.

this aint a love song.

today i got asked a question, who is the person i keep mentioning in my blog? i wish i could tell, but it just simply isnt that easy. i mean i wouldnt want to go and make a fool of myself, which im sure i already have lol. but yeah, there's no way im telling anyone who it is. why would i want to? what pleasure do they get out of it? none. apart from knowing my business. ive had a pretty good day. i got paid yesterday, so i went on a much needed spend. and come back with like loads of random stuff. like two giant cans of hair spray? :S well, i will need that i guess. today has been a much better day. he didnt enter my mind so much. i think im finally taking control of these feelings. soon in my head he wont exist, hopefully anyway. goodnight.

messed up.

today my head has been all over the place. well to be honest i have been at work most of the day which has made things much easier because i haven't really thought about him. i made a decision last night which should make me much happier. but somehow i just end up torturing myself thinking about him. when in reality he just isnt worth it. i wish i never met him, then i wouldnt be having any problems what-so-ever.
anyway, enough about that. hope to speak again tomorrow :)

rainy days.

today i woke up to the sound of someone walking into my room. typical. i thought i was going to have a decent lie-in, NO. it was my mum wanting to borrow MY hair dryer, i dont know why she couldnt of just used her own. anyway, i didnt really sleep much after that. which was good really because i was late for going into town to see some friends. but i still stayed in bed till about 12 lol. but the electric had been cut off so i decided to read, haha i know right me? read? yes lol. ive started reading anne franks diary, and to be honest im really enjoying it. so yeah, because the electric was off i couldnt get a hot shower, i had to have a cold one. i hated every minute of it. anyway, yada yada yada i managed to get into town to meet my friends, it was his birthday today so of course i wished him happy birthday. :) i had a pretty good time in town, apart from a few boring parts it was all good. fo sure.

too long.

right ive been meaning to write this for too long now. ive missed getting my thoughts down on e-paper. its a good way to stop me from going insane in my own mind. dont you ever have those days? where you just feel like you are going to explode, just because of all those thoughts going through your head. like when you cant even get a good night sleep because your brain just doesnt want to shut down. anyway, im starting to blabble.
okay.
so since the last time i wrote on here nothing really has happened.. im still working, still at college, still single.
to be honest ive kinda just given up with men. they are just a waste of time at the moment for me. dont worry im not becoming one of those mad lesbians craving boobs. even though boobs to excite me, just a little bit. ;)
anyway, my brain has just gone blank.. so i will leave this for the moment.
love you all.

doesnt time fly.

right, its about bloody time i wrote another one of these little babies <3>well not much has really happened since i last wrote the last one.. just kinda living everyday as it comes to me i guess.

Back.

okay so it has been a while since i last updated this thing. im really going to try and update it more often. its just while i was on holiday, i just didnt get round to it. anyway.

some interested things have happened while ive been elsewhere.. started back at college today, really have missed them guys so much!! erm, in all honesty i dont really know what to write now. SHAMLESS IS ON. cya.

Yorkshire.

so I haven't been around for a while, I'm on holiday in Yorkshire :) it's very nice. This is only a quick update I will post a more full bodied one later on in the evening when I have a laptop, not my shifty iPod touch. Hmmm.

Valentines Day.

so woke up today a little later that i should of done. but that really didnt matter because i wasnt doing anything that exciting :/ i had my first driving lesson today and it was shockingly awful! well, it wasnt.. i was. to be honest id rather take a bus everywhere for the rest of my life lol. well i really want to move to London when im a little older and obviously have more dollar, so there i wouldnt really need to drive anywhere lol.

so moving onto the subject of valentines day.

today hasnt really been that bad. mainly because i have just treated it as any other day. i did get quite a few nice text message though from some friends. anyway happy valentines all :) <3

Yorkshire.

so i didnt have to get up so early today. and i didnt. even though i was catching the 12pm train to harrogate. i dont normally mind train journeys, to be honest i quite enjoy them but today was a different story. loads and loads of kids just wanting to scream ARGHHH. it naturally it annoyed the hell out of me.. and probably most of the other passengers around me too. i got so annoyed i literally had to leave the carriage because i thought i was going to smack their heads together. and that wouldnt of been pretty, for them.

Fun and Giggles Part Two.

so i thought i would do a second post tonight, just because i felt like it. but know i dont really know what to say :/

balls.

.. okay been sat here for about 2 minutes now.. and still nothing. some how i dont think i could make it as a writer. dont you agree?

so my evening has been average. watching sex and the city and packing. ergh.

yes im going to yorkshire tomorrow to see my dad. :) i think its going to be fun because im going to be learning to drive for a whole week and im dead excited.. also really nervous. plus because ive cut my hair kind of short.. i think he will be a little mad. :/ and i really dont want to deal with that tomorrow after a whole day of traveling. 3 and a half hours. 2 changes. FML. well at least its not like a 6am train, that would be a killer.

oh and its valentines day on sunday. fun fun fun. this year im valentines scrooge. i hate it.

1. because i dont have a valentines.
2. because im at my fathers.
3. id be actually scared if my father gets a valentines card.

but there is a guy i like at the moment, but of course he doesnt know it yet.. well im sure he does but after the recent events he might have become to hate me. which would be BAD.

anyway its all a long story. and abit too.. graphic to explain on here.

at least sex and the city is cheering me up, sort of. :) but i have to admit this has been one of the worst evenings in a while. maybe its because i havent spoke to him. but a different guy mentioned before. this one is abit more complicated to talk about. and i dont really know how i feel about this one at all.. i like him. but he lives a million miles away, and doesnt care about things. well, most things. he is so random. ergh, if he reads this im going to be embarrassed. but its weird because in a way i hope he does. so then he knows.. without me having to physically telling him.

ah look i dont know what to write for ages, then come out with loads of stuff that many people would not want to hear about.

& ive only been out of college for a few days for the half term holidays and i miss them geeks already, there like my family and i love them.

facebook has also been dull tonight, and full of just pointless stuff.

i think its time i stop talking now. its late and ERGH i have to travel tomorrow. goodnight blogger world. i love you.

Fun and Giggles.

another early start to the day, but fuck me it was amazing. so many fun times and giggles. met up with my friend Gemma. the day just got better and better.

managed to get double cheese burger down before 11. how shameful, but gosh it was yummy and it was just what i needed to start the day. :)

so again, as per usual.. we went to starbucks, its pure love between me and that place. just yum. anyway, met Gemma's sort of guy called Alex.. or baldylocks. yes, he is bald.. sort of lol. he didnt stay around for long, but he did buy me a creme egg. YUM.

yada yada yada. the day went on.

cinema times, we went to see Valentines Day. great i thought.. just what i need when i have no one. but to be honest it was a really good film and i really enjoyed it. made me feel all soppy though after.. and just wanted to grab the nearest cute guy and kiss him. i didnt. but it did make me think about him. that one person. him. hey, im not giving names away here. ;) maybe one day. when ive actually told him myself how i feel :/ yes, men are not my favorite subject at the moment spesh with valentines. ergh. anyway, this is going to be post one of two tonight. fo' sure.

Today.

nothing that eventful happened today that made me want to rush to my laptop and write about it. but i thought, what the hell.. i'l just write about my day of nothing-ness. so last night was interesting, learnt some new things about myself that i never thought i would. its funny how another persons perspective shows how you really are. anyway, today.. today was boring, dull and to be honest i wish i stayed in bed. but no, i went shopping to cheer myself up :) that didnt last long. i walked into clintons and theres it was, staring me in the face, valentines. yep, the one day where everyone shares there love. and yep, the one day where all single people stay indoors and feel sorry for themselves. oh dont worry.. i do it too.

Bob Marley

'Open your eyes, look within. Are you satisfied with the life you're living?'

Karl.

i dated him.

now i hate him.

oh how things turn out.

:(

Crap Day.

woke up.

snow.

showered.

oh wait, theres still snow.

work.

snow gone. YAY.

work got boring, and horrible.

snowing again.

fml.

home. ill.

blogging. :)

fun day? fuck no.

Bob Marley

"Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don't bury your thoughts, put your vision to reality. Wake Up and Live!"

i love this quote. just perfect.

London.

well well well, today was more than interesting. NOT.
right, so getting up at 6am wasn't my idea of fun.. but i thought okay today is the day when all excited college kids go to the tate modern. yes the coach journey was fun, as always. ;) but when we got there.. it was actually shocking. :( i was not impressed. so we spent around 4 hours exploring the tate, only finding one thing i actually liked. a big empty black box. yes. a fucking box. but actually if im honest it was quite funny. so after about 2 hours, we left to find a starbucks. the majourly overpriced coffee heaven. then left for shitty suffolk. art hadnt been on the forefront of my mind that day, and we all know why.. that isnt too great. anyhow. goodnight.