oh you don't mean nothing at all to me.

i havent written here for a while now. well it seems like a while, tbh im really not that sure.
so whats been happening? er not much tbh.
well excited about next month. off to alton towers baby. been like 3 times before, but who doesnt get excited about going to a place like that ;) its gunna be good.
x

digital art and design.

started a new blog today about the art work im doing at college :)
nuff said.
safe.

make damn sure.

soooooo.
infact ive really enjoyed today. had a pretty good day at work. i think ive practically run out of money now though and i dont get paid for another week or so.. this is going to be fun.
im feeling quite tired this evening, im not quite sure why. maybe just had a busy day.
i havent spoke to him. cant be arsed.
erm.. so yeah just a quick one.


:D
oh yes, and i need to stop watching the hangover. i seem to know every line. but youve gotta love lesie chow. cor.
i really need to update my ipod.
i really need to tidy my room.
(L)

spot on.

today has been a good day :) and it all started with last night.. i had the most amazing phone call with an old friend and really everything came out. it was nice to hear from him.
so i thought i would start my 'diet' today, well not really a diet but just do the whole drink loads of water and eat 5 fruit and veg stuff.
also went swimming today with gemma, was rather fun :)

beano plasters.

im loving my beano plasters. they are just too cute for words :)
going to alton towers next month. BOOM.
my cat is still shedding furr everywhere.
im really tired atm.
i wish things would sort themselves out.
this blog is shit.
night.

complicated.

so why does everything have to be so complicated? please someone tell me why? currently on iPod atm, so I will update later :)

title goes here.

someone told me today that my last few blogs were pretty thin. so i really have to try and make this one half decent sized :l wish me luck. :)
so whats been happening the last few days? well in all honesty nothing really.. ive realised a few things which i have been denying for a while. and because ive accepted how i feel, i can now deal with these feelings in a much more positive way then.. a negative one? lol.
the cat has been shedding furr like mad. and its getting everywhere. i now give my cat 2 brushes a day and its still falls off her like mad. of course my step dad suggested shaving her. i agreed. but my mum got in the way of our plan. lucky cat.
work has been okay, alot better than before. and im getting along with my manager much better. i think ive learnt how to deal with her now. even so, another person has left and she really will be missed, by all of us.
the subject of him.. i dont really know to say on this subject. we still speak. but thats about it.
OH MY GOSH. my mother dearest bought be some beano covered plasters today and i was so please. i know how random. but they really are so cool :)
sorry its been slightly all over the place but it should stop the complaining.



okay so i thought that was one of the lamest attempts at writing a decent sized blog. EPIC FAIL. but i really dont know what to write, and if i just write what comes to mind then.. im sure i will be in trouble ;) i love you.

ahhh why is it when ive saved the blog and think thats all im going to write i end up thinking of other things to put in it lol.
OMG im now obsessed with reddit. thanks to a geeky friend of mine.
what else.. oh about half way through on my anne frank book. i think its absolutely incredible. this may sound weird but i would really like to go to poland and visit the auschwitz museum. i think it would be such an experience. i would probably cry my heart out. but i really want to go maybe sometime next year.
cleaned my room today, be proud.

oh and im pretty sure my laptop is going to die soon. maybe an excuse to get a new one.. or just survive without. & my blackberry is acting like a gay. i hate it. iphone please :)

you make me wanna say..

yo uglies.
:)
again i dont have much today. on a natural high. apart from my breadbasket hurting. :( and if you dont know what that is.. its my stomach. lol.

weird.

today has been such a strange day. and its hard to explain.. i will add more later when i can be bothered lol :P

give me novacaine.

just a little update to say im still alive.
:)
& i love you.

O.M.G

im loving ushers song atm. <3

so yeah, just a random blog for the day. had my mate gemma round last night, corr she dont have make me laugh. so its 1am and a funny thought popped into her head and i swear down she didnt stop laughing for about 5 minutes. i dont think ive ever laughed that hard at someone else laughing, lol.
so today i woke up to the sound of a drill hammer outside, wondering what it was half asleep i realised it was actually coming from the builders that are working at our house. anyway i was slightly pissed off, and im pretty sure that everyone in my street was pissed off at us as well. i have to say it was 8:45 and it was soooooo noisy so yeah they do kinda have a point at being pissed off at us.
when i finally decided to get my lazy arse out of bed and get dressed i ventured of into town.. paid in a check, and got my daily kick of starbucks, this is bad right.. but they actually know my order before ive even got to the counter or even said anything to them. i think a couple of weeks ago i went in everyday.. this maybe why they seem to know me so well. but they are actually so friendly in there and i practically know them by name now, i love it.
ahhh him. im not evening going to mention him today, because he is not worth the words that i would like to say. plus its a tad inappropriate to mention it on here. eaaaaak. hes cool though. sort of. kind of contradicting myself there. but i kinda hate him but at the same time, hes a really awesome person. of course i dont let him know that, wouldnt want his head to grow any bigger than it already is.
at the moment im reading Anne Frank. and oh my gosh, its really amazing. im about a third of the way through and i really would recommend reading it, if you havent already done so.
current song im listing too (and obsessed with) , this aint a love song - scouting for girls. its lovely. but i know i will listen to it too much and end up hating it. dont you find that happens? when you listen to a song over and over again that you absolutely love, and you just end up hating it.. or just not listening to it at all. strange that? :S
so im planning my first tattoo, ever. and i really dont know what to go for..? or even where to put it..? when i was a couple of years younger than i am now i really wanted a barcode on my wrist.. oh what was i thinking, even though in my own head i still think it would be really cool to have that done. even if it is somewhere that cant be seen. as i dont want anything on my arms now. well i do, but parents have made me think its a bad idea because of jobs yada yada.
ohh yeah, how annoyed was i when i discovered that a new dvd that i bought a couple of days ago wouldnt play in my dvd player :@ oh and stupid me for not keeping the receipt :(
anyhow, enough for tonight. tired fingers. from typing. yeah.





OH BLOG UPDATE.
my laptop is fucked. cry.

why is it when ive wrote it i remember so many more things that were supposed too go in.
it was really sunny today and this made sooo happy. dont you just have those days where the weather just makes or breaks your day.

unspoken.

its starting not to bother me now when i dont speak to him.. like what was all the fuss about? short & sweet.

bank holiday.

i cant be bothered to add stuff to the blog i written yesterday. but i will carry on trying to write a blog every day. just to keep anyone who reads this informed. today has been a good day, had a pretty good time at work. it was so boring though because it was bank holiday hardly anyone came in which meant that i had 6 hours of doing nothing practically. done.

everything thats on my mind.

so some geek today told me not to think about what to write and just write what comes into my head so here goes.
-i have amazing friends. gemma, she is like my rock and i love her. i dont think i would be able to go a day without speaking to her. we are like two peas in a pod, joined at the hip. i met her at college. and shes awesome.
of course i have many other friends too, but none are like her. shes my jesus.
-i like him. you dont and never will know who he is, but its weird. like i would of never of thought it would of come to this but it kinda just happened. they say you cant help who you like/love (i dont love him) but thats really true. and it happens at the most worse, awkward and silly times. but as i like to say.. if life was easy, would love be boring? i think it would.
-college. i like it, only because i have great friends.
-family. this could be a long one. i didnt have a bad childhood. but as a result of what happened when i was a young baby, me and my father dont really have a relationship that a daughter and father should have. this makes me sad sometimes because i see other people with their fathers and i think to myself.. why cant my life be like that. but i suppose we all have different problems in our life. well, none of us are perfect after all. none.
i might add to this a little later because i really cba to type right now :)

i cant think, i cant write.

boom.
i dont have anything to say today.
why?
because.. nothing exciting happened. apart from meeting with mates.
night.

rehab.

happy easter weekend.
:)
im working most of the weekend, but ive had a pretty good few days at work. so im a happy bunny. and its sunday tomorrow so no working. but i am working bank holiday monday, which kinda sucks but everyone just keeps saying to me "think of the money" which i am lol.
okay, i admit it. didnt think about him much today. and i know i said i wouldnt mention him here anymore. but i dont know where else to really express myself. and im not 12 so i diary wouldnt be much help. so thanks blogger, you stop me from going insane.

angry angry.

dont you just hate it when some fucking (excuse my language) people dont even try and understand you. like when they just seem to get a kick out of pointing out all your faults when they think they are perfect themselves. well there're wrong, they have faults and plenty of them. its about time they climb out of there own butts and really get a grip. for fuck sake. my day has gone from good to bad to shit. and now i have a headache. crap.

whatshername.

so i get people asking who the guy is in my blog..
my business not yours.
so, now.. i wont mention him again. cool.

:)

so ive had a pretty amazing day, and yes i didnt think about him. result. i really didnt fancy going into work today, but who does? but when i got there i thought im going to make this a good day. and i did. my kpi's were pretty good. and i know you dont know what kpi's are, but it doesnt matter, they were good. so yeah, like i said i havent thought about him today. but yeah it just made my day better, not to be horrible or anything, but i just cant deal with that shit at the moment. this is probably going to be the first of two posts i will put up here today. happy easter.

this aint a love song.

today i got asked a question, who is the person i keep mentioning in my blog? i wish i could tell, but it just simply isnt that easy. i mean i wouldnt want to go and make a fool of myself, which im sure i already have lol. but yeah, there's no way im telling anyone who it is. why would i want to? what pleasure do they get out of it? none. apart from knowing my business. ive had a pretty good day. i got paid yesterday, so i went on a much needed spend. and come back with like loads of random stuff. like two giant cans of hair spray? :S well, i will need that i guess. today has been a much better day. he didnt enter my mind so much. i think im finally taking control of these feelings. soon in my head he wont exist, hopefully anyway. goodnight.