everything thats on my mind.

so some geek today told me not to think about what to write and just write what comes into my head so here goes.
-i have amazing friends. gemma, she is like my rock and i love her. i dont think i would be able to go a day without speaking to her. we are like two peas in a pod, joined at the hip. i met her at college. and shes awesome.
of course i have many other friends too, but none are like her. shes my jesus.
-i like him. you dont and never will know who he is, but its weird. like i would of never of thought it would of come to this but it kinda just happened. they say you cant help who you like/love (i dont love him) but thats really true. and it happens at the most worse, awkward and silly times. but as i like to say.. if life was easy, would love be boring? i think it would.
-college. i like it, only because i have great friends.
-family. this could be a long one. i didnt have a bad childhood. but as a result of what happened when i was a young baby, me and my father dont really have a relationship that a daughter and father should have. this makes me sad sometimes because i see other people with their fathers and i think to myself.. why cant my life be like that. but i suppose we all have different problems in our life. well, none of us are perfect after all. none.
i might add to this a little later because i really cba to type right now :)

i cant think, i cant write.

boom.
i dont have anything to say today.
why?
because.. nothing exciting happened. apart from meeting with mates.
night.

rehab.

happy easter weekend.
:)
im working most of the weekend, but ive had a pretty good few days at work. so im a happy bunny. and its sunday tomorrow so no working. but i am working bank holiday monday, which kinda sucks but everyone just keeps saying to me "think of the money" which i am lol.
okay, i admit it. didnt think about him much today. and i know i said i wouldnt mention him here anymore. but i dont know where else to really express myself. and im not 12 so i diary wouldnt be much help. so thanks blogger, you stop me from going insane.

angry angry.

dont you just hate it when some fucking (excuse my language) people dont even try and understand you. like when they just seem to get a kick out of pointing out all your faults when they think they are perfect themselves. well there're wrong, they have faults and plenty of them. its about time they climb out of there own butts and really get a grip. for fuck sake. my day has gone from good to bad to shit. and now i have a headache. crap.

whatshername.

so i get people asking who the guy is in my blog..
my business not yours.
so, now.. i wont mention him again. cool.

:)

so ive had a pretty amazing day, and yes i didnt think about him. result. i really didnt fancy going into work today, but who does? but when i got there i thought im going to make this a good day. and i did. my kpi's were pretty good. and i know you dont know what kpi's are, but it doesnt matter, they were good. so yeah, like i said i havent thought about him today. but yeah it just made my day better, not to be horrible or anything, but i just cant deal with that shit at the moment. this is probably going to be the first of two posts i will put up here today. happy easter.

this aint a love song.

today i got asked a question, who is the person i keep mentioning in my blog? i wish i could tell, but it just simply isnt that easy. i mean i wouldnt want to go and make a fool of myself, which im sure i already have lol. but yeah, there's no way im telling anyone who it is. why would i want to? what pleasure do they get out of it? none. apart from knowing my business. ive had a pretty good day. i got paid yesterday, so i went on a much needed spend. and come back with like loads of random stuff. like two giant cans of hair spray? :S well, i will need that i guess. today has been a much better day. he didnt enter my mind so much. i think im finally taking control of these feelings. soon in my head he wont exist, hopefully anyway. goodnight.